I don't know if I've told you this before, but I hate air travel. I suspect I'm not alone in this. I love being there, its the flying there I do not like. Days before I am due to leave, I begin to obsess over the trip. I know, when you think about it rationally, even going as far as San Francisco from here basically only takes a day. What's a day in the big picture anyway. I am looking forward to seeing all the ex-squints in the Valley. I loved living there and look forward to being back. But, man, do I hate that cooped up, sardine packed, sharp-edged, lack-of-control, uncomfortable seats, plastic food, being touched by each person that walks past, waiting in line for the bathroom, waiting to get on, waiting to get off, waiting in passport control, waiting in security, taking off shoes, Oh yes and being touched.
I don't sleep well because if I'm not concentrating on keeping the plane flying, then who is? And its terribly exhausting having to keep the whole plane aloft for hour upon hour, just using your armrests.
Its really becoming worse and worse. Once, in a faraway country in a faraway time, I used to fly business class all the time. That was much better. Still airlines and flying and shit, but made tolerable. But now, its peasant class all the way (except for the last lovely holiday) and I'm without Blackwifeo, who loves traveling and airports and airplanes and hotels (all that shopping). She has a calming effect and is able to tell me to shut up and stop being miserable exactly when I need it.
In my continuing obsession to try cover every possible angle for my upcoming trip, I called US Airways yesterday evening. At some point I'm to fly from San Jose to Houston with these shelppers. I did not check the eticket closely enough and it appears the normal 3.5 hour flight by Continental takes US Air 5.5 hours (I get to visit Phoenix). When I logged on to their site, I found to my horror that I have a middle seat the whole way. Of course, there was no way to change this online (I hate the grayed out options in pulldown menus), so I called. Seems you have to pay for a aisle seat. They are all taken already, but if I log on 24 hours before the flight, I may be able to find one if say someone dies or gets leprosy or something. But it will cost. Each checked piece of luggage costs. A pillow costs.
Come on and invent those instantaneous transporters already, can't be that hard, they already had them in the first Star Trek!
Ham Close Road Closed
8 hours ago
2 comments:
So, if the aisle seats cost extra, everyone will want the middle seats. Can I perhaps go for free if I sit in the middle with someone on my lap? If so, I already know who I'd take to make the flight most enjoyable! I'll even pay for the blanket. MHC, here I come! ;-)
I think that it's great when the guy who runs the company you work for has the guts to say that traveling frightens him. Peter, you were already human, but now you're larger than life.
I love flying. It has given me some of my most cathartic experiences. Let's face it, the one big mistake career mistake I made in my life was to listen to my father telling I would be bored being a pilot.
What I hate about flying is being cramped in with all those people. I've suffered for over a decade with pretty bad anxiety and panic attacks. And while I loved flying, the whole business of being trapped with all those people would make my pulse race faster. So here is the trick that helped me. Go to your local doctor and get a prescription for some nice anti-anxiety tablets. I avoid medication like the plague, but when it comes to being a sardine, I decided that it was better to go out stoned rather than anxious. Which is why I would also enjoy a few glasses of red wine while waiting in the bar before the flight and I would invariably get two of those half-bottles of red wine during the in flight service. There is nothing like it: anxiety, red-wine, anti-anxiety tablet and rarified air. You'll end up loving everyone around you, including the Jews standing at the back of the plane banging against the overhead locker that little piece of wood they wear on their forehead for praying.
Most of all, have a safe flight and hopefully you will have finished your history of the world audiobook on your return.
Marc
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