Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The 80% Theory

Alright then. This is my first blog posting. Lets talk about 80%. This is one of the basic premises of life in Israel. Its an 80% country. Life here is scored out of a maximum of 80%. So no matter where or what you do here, the best you can expect is 80%. This is true in every facet of Israeli life.

Its really quite sad. The 20% necessary to get from 80% to 100% is probably the easiest 20% of all to achieve. But, in Israel this 20% has no value, and probably there is no way to even express this 20% in Hebrew. So, you need to understand, 80% is Israel is actually 64% on a global scale, and 60% here is a complete global failure at 48% on the international scale.

I have tested this phenomena extensively during my close to 8 years here. Its a proven fact. I have yet to find anything that passes the 80%. This theory came to me during our first year in Israel when Jo and I went to the "top" spa in the country. The stay was pleasant enough, the grounds are beautiful, the food plentiful and the general peacefulness was more or less worth the arm, leg and liver it costs. But, each time I walked to our room, I got this uneasy feeling. Eventually I realized, for three days straight the piped music was the same annoying Enya record. Over and over in an infinite loop, boring a hole into my brain like an icepick in the eye. I eventually went to ask them to please, please change the music - unfortunately, the receptionists do not have access to the locked office on the weekend. They are probably still playing the same Enya CD over and over till this day. 80% I tell you.

Sadly I've noticed that on days like today even 80% looks good.