Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Can't make this shit up!

At some point this morning bwo texted me "I swear, you can't make this shit up." and I swear you can't. Here's the story. Near the corner of Sandy Lane and Petersham Road a few houses down from us live a nice gay couple S and R. Nice guys. S looks after the Rox from time to time and they have two little dogs Lily and Poppy. Next to them live two other gay guys. For the sake of the story let's call them Guy1 and Guy2. Now not all has been well in the lives of Guy1 and Guy2. S and R have had all sorts of trouble with them. Particularly Guy1. He apparently has been abusive and threatening. S and R complain of shouting matches that continue to the early hours of the morning. I stumbled upon Guy1 sitting outside on the ground in the lane while walking Roxy one morning at 5am. He invited me in for coffee. I did not accept. Rumor has it that Guy1 and 2 are selling their house and planning a move to Houston. This could not happen soon enough for S and R.

I awake at 5am this morning after a troubled night's sleep fighting jet lag to a bothersome flashing light coming through the blinds. I think this is probably some medical emergency as we have some elderly neighbours. I looked out the window to see a number of police vehicles on Petersham road and no passing traffic at all. Hmmm, interesting. I dress quickly and take Roxy out the front door to see what's going on. To the right (see picture below) the road is cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape. To the left a solitary bus is standing all alone except for the driver who is looking up at one of the houses (X marks the spot). I walk over to him and ask what's up. He says there is a jumper on one of the roofs of the houses and seeing as he cannot make a U turn, he is stuck there. Sure enough I can hear Guy1 shouting and ranting at the top of his voice. Repeating the same chants over and over. The police are stationed below looking up and pleading for him to come down.
The bus driver tells me that they have closed off Petersham Road from The Dysart to The New Inn (all directions given based on local Pubs). This means no one can get from Kingston to Richmond or vice versa. Luckily it's still around 6am, so traffic is light. After a few minutes a policeman comes over and asks us to go further away as "things are coming to a head". I walk Roxy round the block and back down the back lane to get back home. Bwo and I go out the front door to see what's up and a nice policewoman asks us to stay inside because Guy1 on the roof decided I was Guy2 when he saw me outside and this has made him more agitated.

The prospects of getting to work any time soon did not look good so we offered the police outside tea. This was a good move as this elevated our status from nosy neighbours to useful citizens in the eyes of the UK constabulary. So much so that they offered to let me back my car out, move the five vehicles blocking the road and take down the crime scene tape temporarily so I could get out and go off to work. Amazing what a good cuppa can do. So I made it out, stopping on the way to give a ride to a stranded commuter waiting for a never appearing bus.

It seems the "incident" went on till around 10am causing all sorts of havoc in Richmond. A "van without windows" took Guy1 away eventually, according to bwo's report. She also spent time on the phone with S  (of S and R) getting the scoop from up close. Seems Guy1 started throwing roofing tiles and parts of the chimney pipe down on the masses of police below. He possibly also assaulted Guy2. Looks like he has been arrested, which worries S and R as this means he probably will not be emigrating to the US any time soon. And people dare say the UK is boring!

And if you don't believe me you can read the story in The Richmond and Twickenham Times.


Sagi. said...

this post brings me back to this sentence that you used to say almost every day :
"דם ישפך ברחוב המנופים"

blackpetero said...

True Sagi. I have to admit that at some point I was ready to go out and encourage the fool to jump already. Then the blood would really have flowed in Petersham Road.

Joanne Ostrin said...

Seriously, you cant make this shit up. What you forgot to mention, is that S told me that Guy #1 (the one causing the havoc) is apparently addicted to Chrystal Meth and had assaulted his partner, guy #2 that morning, which is why the police were around in the first place.
FYI peoples, we live in a really ritzy area. Suppose there are lunatics everywhere.