Blackwifeo is a well known salvager. As I have previously explained, she has been known to stop the car, amidst traffic, to load someones discarded furniture into the back of the Renault Mizbeleh. Some time ago she came home with four lawn chairs and an outside table. The table (an early model Ikea design I think) had funky legs and a glass top, blackwifeo and it had bonded. It lived outside through a few (maybe two) summers and winters and a considerable number of Friday night family dinners.A week or so back, blacknephewo came home, only to find part of the top had shattered. When I got home we dusted for prints. We used ALS (alternate light source) technology fresh from the crime lab and studied trajectories, but for the life of us, we could not find any reason for the break. I was hoping to find a rock thrown in by the neighbours, or perhaps a bleeding paw print at the scene of the crime. Nothing. We archived the mystery in the unsolved file, and went about our business. Well, two days back, blacknephew came home only to find another break (you can see the two sort of half moon breaks in the pictorial evidence above).
And finally it dawned on us. One half of the table gets the morning sun, while the other half is still cool in the shade. Clearly one side is expanding too quickly for the other and therefore the shattering. Grissom would be proud. Now that he is leaving CSI (the only show besides House and Bones worth watching) maybe he can move in, we have a spare room now that blackalexio has gone back to England, and we can team up to solve perplexing domestic issues. I am sure CSI:Raanana would be a global hit.
4 comments:
You make me laugh out loud for real! Droll wit and genius get me every time.
Thanks for enjoyable reads.
Namaste
You didn't mention the other hundreds of theories, all of them pretty plausible in my opinion: like a screw falling off an airplane and landing on the glass or a bit of a meteorite breaking off and landing exactly on the right spot.
Or maybe it was syd, the giant cat, jumping up, landing on the edge of the table, thereby causing the opposite side to lift and crash down, causing a the damage.
Or the theory of the boiling hot shekel, heating up in the morning sun, to such a degree that it causes the table to shatter.
In all honesty, I am not really sold on your final theory blackpetero- I would call mythbusters, cause those guys can figure anything out.
There was no evidence of cosmic or aeronautical activity anywhere to be found. And the evidence never lies. Have you ever seen Syd, the giant cat, jump that high? His legs can barely hold his bulk let alone propel it off the ground. And the shekel theory is just plain lame. Nope, I hold with the expansion theory as it relates to plate tectonics.
I would totally watch CSI: Banana
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