Monday, December 20, 2010

A Special Hell

Israel's special version of hell is the waterpark at Shvayim in the middle of summer holidays. America's version is the 99 cent store on the corner of Voss and Westheimer the week before Christmas. I needed to drop bwo off to do some shopping while I went to a lunch meeting today. After my lunch I called and found out she was at the 99 cent store and would I please come pick her up (and I should take my time as she was mid shop). I thought I had it covered as the traffic was heavy and I struggled to find parking in the vicinity, which was the first sign of trouble. There is always parking in Houston. This place has space. This is the only time I have ever had to walk any distance. Well the store is large, much bigger on the inside than it looks from the street. And it's packed. People (women) everywhere. People marveling over the Colt 45 malt liqueur (pronounced 'likker') for 99c, the 99c Christmas tree ornaments. the 99c expired sour patch candies, the 99c kitchen utensils and the 99c candles. Everything is slightly not-new looking. It is also true that everything is 99c cents as opposed to Israeli bargain stores e.g. the 10 shekel store on Ahuza street that has one thing that is 10 shekels and everything else costs more. Still it was horrid. People everywhere bumping you with their carts, pushing you out the way, touching you. It's hell I tell you, pure hell.


Thayer said...

While the idea of a 99 cent store filled with holiday shoppers does sound horrifying, I think you missed out on a great opportunity by not loading up on Colt 45 and Sour Patch Kids. In fact, you probably could've found a 99 cent cocktail shaker and mixed the two up right there in the store, creating a malty, fruity taste sensation that would've made you forget all your troubles.

blackpetero said...

Just wait till you come visit us in Israel Thayer. I'll make sure to take you to the water park at Shvayim, you'll never be the same. No amount of alcohol will help!