Monday, April 23, 2012

On The Move

In the last few weeks I have realized something. Strange that it has taken me more than 50 years to understand this (Man, 50 years, this is an age). I just need to be busy! The end of last year and the beginning of this was a down time for me.  I am not exactly sure why. It could have been the new job, or the gray winter light or possibly just the age of man. Then I had a blood test and found out I need to get myself in gear. I radically changed my diet, pulled up my socks, rolled up my sleeves and went to work. There are some days now that just fly by. There are actually nights when I lay in bed and say to myself "not bad blackpetero, you got a lot done today". And I feel so much better.

Work has been challenging but I am getting more comfortable with the role. I have been privileged to be involved in quite a bit of leadership training recently and it has got me thinking about values and vision (more on that some other time). I have been reminded many times in the last few months that it's the journey that counts - an essential lesson that needs constant reinforcing in a goal oriented person. It's always fascinated me how my squints and I seem to go through these emotional transitions together. It's just past the 6 month mark since the acquisition and many have been struggling to come to terms with what the new job means for each of us. Like good engineers most of us don't even understand what is making us unhappy, yet alone have any idea how to address it. I keep forgetting and have to re-remind myself what works for me - work! As soon my daily mental check list has more checks than open boxes, my attitude improves. Having two big archaeological projects coming up in the next few months has just added to the list. So at the end of the day, my todo list is quite long and diversified.

Yesterday was a good day. Up at 5am, to work, I multitasked, helping out doing some menial tasks for one of the understaffed teams between multiple phone calls and meetings, I also spent time trying to internalize the future roadmap for a later chat with one of the key players in the US. I struggled to put together a "forum" for some others working on similar projects all over Israel (it's almost impossible to schedule meetings with everyone's overseas travel). Then a rush off to the school for a difficult and stressful board meeting that went on till after 11pm. Even though bwo is away and her absence leaves a hole in my life, when I fell into bed after midnight and mentally reviewed the day (something I have been trying to do of late), I felt content. While, of course, there is much I could have improved, especially on my interactions with other and especially my impatience, I can give myself a break and say I got a lot done.

Lately, a few lines from a poem we read in Ms. Bosman's class in high school keep coming to mind. They're from Thom Gunn's On the Move 'Man, You Gotta Go'. It ends as follows
At worse, one is in motion; and at best, 
Reaching no absolute, in which to rest, 
One is always nearer by not keeping still


arnieo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
arnieo said...

Too deep for me