Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Nose

I finally got home.  What a relief.  The worst experience I had on the way home was on the plane from Gdansk to Frankfurt. It was one of those small commuter jets with two rows of sets or two.  The plane was full. Sitting next to me was a funny little man in a suit and tie. I noticed that he had pushed into the boarding line much to the annoyance of the Germans all around.  He looked a little off.  He had those little "Mengele" round glasses and twitched a lot. He left his bag on my seat and seemed irate that I had dared to share his space. He muttered to himself a bit, then started to pick his nose. This went on for most of the 1 and 3/4 hour flight. At one point I got so disgusted that I got up, when to the (tiny) bathroom and brought him some tissues.  He did not get the hint, refused the tissues with a shake of his greasy head and went on digging for diamonds in his nose.  I am surprised his head did not cave in.

Then things got really bad.  He took out his cellphone and started playing Angry Birds.  With the sound on. I looked at him in disbelief, but he was totally oblivious and continued playing with the tinny sound of the game irritating me to where I nearly crushed the metal arm rest in my boiling rage.  Eventually I looked at him and said "Turn Off The Sound!!!", he looked at me without comprehension so I pointed to my ear, his phone and ran a finger menacingly across my neck. He turned off the sound and went back to picking his nose. I noticed all the passengers around me relax.

When we got off the plane and onto the shuttle bus to the terminal (these little commuter planes don't park at a jetway), the people sitting around me motioned me over to their side of the bus they thanked me for stopping the sound of the game and we had a good laugh.  They were all Germans on their way home after working in Gdansk. The assured me one and all "he definitely was not German".  They shuddered at the whole nose-picking thing.      

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