Talk into the Phone

Yesterday while at the supermarket I could feel something messing with my karma. I noticed a BIT (beaut in training - needs further explanation, but not now) in her skin tight leopard skin leggings and high heel boots and frilly pink top shouting into her cell phone which she held away from her ear and in front of her sticky florescent scarlet lips. Of course, her cell phone was on loudspeaker and all the Hypershuk could her her riveting discussion with her "best" friend. I shuddered and walked off, selected my veggies and went to stand in line to wait my turn at being abused by the surly ex-KGB torturer who now is punishing the world because while she used to be a brain surgeon in Minsk she is now a lowly cashier. Anyway, the beaut (truly she is not in training any more, she probably is dean of the faculty), still deep in conversation with "Lenava" sidles up next to me and without missing a beat, shout in my direction "I only have three things, let me go in front of you".

She continues her discussion while giving me the beady eyeball. I take a deep breath while thinking furiously of something smart to say, but all my shell shocked brain can come up with is. "if you stop talking on the phone, I will consider it". She petulantly signs off her call all the while complaining about the "antipat" that is ruining her buzz. I let her in front and try not be blinded by the miles of leopard patterned buldgey butt. As she pushes past, I asked her why she needs to let the whole world listen into her discussions on the cell phone. She sizes me up with a bloodshot eye encased in blue mascara and says "you don't want me to get cancer, surely?" What can one say!