Saturday, June 4, 2011


On Thursday I had to motor up to Jerusalem on squint related business to meet someone  at the HTIA conference. So there I was. I arrived at Binyanai HaOmah with plenty of time to spare. I parked in the underground parking and walked for miles being directed from door to door, until I found the entrance for the conference (which was actually the main entrance of Binyanai HaOmah). I did notice that there seemed to be a lot of security, more than usual, but this is an important conference and I figured they were just protecting the captains of industry from harm (and beggars). I got to the front door and was questioned by a young lady in rent-a-cop uniform as to my goals and aspirations for the day. I passed first scrutiny and then headed through the "real" security (complete with fake metal detector, it was not even plugged in). I gave the guard my backpack, and emptied my pockets. He looked at my cell and then saw my Swiss-Army knife. "You can't take that in!" he stated officiously. "But, Why?" I shrugged trying to look Israeli. "Orders!" he said. I just frowned. He called the girl outside to discuss. This went on for a while. She called her superior on her cell and I was ordered to "wait right here!". So I waited. About five minutes later the superior showed up. He did not look all that superior to me, but looks can be deceiving. He looked at my Swarmy. "Why do you need this?" He asked. "It's perfect, and it has a set of Torx screwdrivers, Come On" I answered. He looked confused and so he too called his superior on his cell. I hear his side of the conversions. "He has a pocket knife", he told her. "No he looks O.K.", "He's a new immigrant (obvious from my accent) and he is wearing black". "Tov, I will ask him".

So he turned to me and asked "You don't plan to stab anyone with this, do you?". "Definitely not" I replied. Handing me back my Swarmy, he said "O.K. You can go in, just don't stab anyone or else I will get fired".

Once inside I found out the reason for the tight security (besides the free lunch for attendees). It seems our Prime Minister Bibi was giving a speech to the conference an hour after my meeting. Now I bet you in the States no amount of talking would have got me in with my Swarmy knife.


Jozie said...

That is hilarious. seriously?

John Deuel said...

I thought you called it a swami knife. Did your name for it change or did I never hear you correctly?

blackpetero said...

Its still called a Swami. I didn't want to confuse the prols.