Tuesday, March 15, 2016

A Dozen Reflex Loathings

I have been listening to Bill Bryson's latest book "The Road To Little Dribbling" while in the car. I used to think he tries too hard to be funny, but I like this book because he comes across as even grumpier than I am. I particularly liked his notion that "everyone should be allowed a dozen or so things that they dislike without having to explain or to justify to anyone why". He calls these "reflex loathings". His include such things as kettles without an indicator light and people who call an invitation an invite. The has 15 by the way but he justifies this as it's his concept and therefore he can have extras. These cannot be rational dislikes, like traffic jams or Donald Trump. They have to be things that some people will disagree with.

So here are some of mine:

  1. Things that auto-format text for you (like this blogging app) and force you to go to all sorts of tricks and hacks to get things to look the way you like.
  2. People who cannot figure out how to open the toilet doors on an airplane. Worse yet those that don't lock the door.
  3. The Grateful Dead.
  4. Microwaves with dozens of useless buttons. All you need is the 30 second full power increment.
  5. Vegetables that start with A.
  6. Confusing public place doors that do not have an obvious push or pull action. Put a damn handle on the door if you want me to pull and a push plate if I should push.
  7. People who put the lid down on the toilet after use (This is a UK thing, I always think there will be a nasty surprise waiting for me when I lift the lid).
  8. Family videos (especially having to watch those of my in-laws) and most other peoples personal photos.
  9. Any email, whatsapp, SMS that is more than 3 words of Hebrew.
  10. The Archers. Oh and Game of Thrones.
  11. Sitting idle at the table (in a house or a restaurant) after a meal.
  12. Weird fruity drinks (such as banana, apple and raspberry juice). My wife loves these.
That's my current dozen and I reserve the right to change them at will. Give it a try.