Tuesday, August 28, 2012


It's been 10 days since my last post. I'm bad. I have decided that I quite like the whole bullet form of blogging and so have been collecting random ideas (over the last 10 minutes or so, the 10 day hiatus was just sheer laziness).

  • The Moshiach (sic) it seems is in Tel Aviv (where did he find parking? is what I want to know). His advert has been flashing on the Jerusalem Post front page for the last day or so. I hope he found a place to sit seeing as all the coffee shops are overflowing with French tourists.
  • It seems that Roxy comes from a long line of Border Collies that run away from home. Although 800 miles is a bit more than running across Raanana.
  • This summer heat has been never ending. Bwo wants us to move to a cooler place for the summer in the future. I'm open to offers.
  • Bso (otherwise known as "the boy") has been at summer school. It's like two hours a week. This tires him out so much that he needs the next six days to relax and to take it easy to recover his strength. Of course, cleaning the cat boxes and taking out the garbage is way hard work.
  • The cats of Rehov HaNevel have accepted Roxy. They complain that she is all bark and no bite. Jeffery does chase her half heartedly around the garden when she gets too loud. Syd and Nancy have given up and just ignore her completely. Her sheep herding instincts are being severely challenged and she is questioning her roots.
  • Bwo has spent more on doggy toys, bones and sprays than on food for the human occupants of the home.
  • The daughter tires of the army. She complains that the officers in her new course ("bomb disposal for dedicated shoppers") don't have enough of something called "distaance" (said with an almost French drawing out of the aa sound). This will not do. These new recruits in her course are just not taking it all seriously enough. I don't know how she has noticed any of this seeing as she is home more than when she was in high school.
  • Bwo has given up smoking and is convinced that the world is a sad, miserable, dark and depressing place that allows no pleasure whatsoever. And it's all my fault.
  • I have walked hundreds of miles all over Raanana with my dog. I am channeling Cesar Millan and have perfected my short, sharp, attention getting hiss. I am still working on my masterful finger point. "Calm assertive", though appears a distant wish.
  • Of course, as always, I have gone binary and have read and watched everything I can find on dogs and dog rearing. It seems the real expert secret to a happy dog is to get a dog that matches the family's "energy". So, of course, we had to get the most energetic and active dog out there. We needed the lazy couch-potato canine, a sloth-like dogs that likes to sleep and rest, instead we got a bouncy, jumpy, happy dog with a short attention span. Only her ADD finds the perfect matches in our family. At least she only barks at the cats (so far).
  • On an unrelated note, I have been struggling on my "no carbs whatsoever" diet. I have been cheating quite regularly. I have also been craving a falafel for at least a month. Yesterday, bwo, bso and I journeyed all the way to "Falafel Haim" in Herzliya, and yes, it's still as good as ever (Stevie). Probably the only reason to stay in Israel.
  • After all the reading about dogs, I realized, sadly, that it's probably too late for me to put in the seven years and become a vet (an archaeologist, high tech, vet is a little extreme). So I did the next best thing and started listening to James Herriot's books. I have read these at least five times each, but the audiobooks take it to another level. They are read by Christopher Timothy and he does all the Yorkshire accents. Absolutely one of the best quality listens I have ever had. Definitely recommended.
That's enough for now.  I will try be more consistent in my posting, it's just that life has been rather routine lately. Up early in the morning after a night peppered with threatening the dog and cats (or rather prodding bwo into doing it), then off to Yakum to the salt mines and then back home in the early evening to battle the heat. Then various phone calls and dog walking before once again tempting fate by trying to go to bed. Hmmm, I need to get some hobbies.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Party Money

Our girl (bdo or blackdaughtero) is certainly enterprising. She has managed to get paid for doing what she does best - partying. It seems that due to the fact that she is "someone to know"  she is paid a commission on the number of her "list" she brings to certain parties. One may ask how does all this fit in with her supposed enlistment in the army. Well, she seems have that quite well organized. She has been home more over the last few weeks since she moved to a base near Eilat, than when she was stationed down the road at Baad 12. The way this party thing works (I believe, no one over the age of 25 can fully understand the true workings and economy of Israeli youth) is that she has a list of Facebook friends that she "encourages" to party with her. She receives a commission her list peeps that attend said party. I assume there is some door fee involved that finances the operation, but I am not strictly sure. Getting clear and concise information from bdo before 5pm is very difficult and even after she arises things are not crystal clear.

It does look like the fun and games may be over for a while as she is starting her "explosives" course this coming Tuesday and she vehemently claims that this is the start of her "real army". So, it's been nearly a year that she has been in the "fake army". I clearly just don't understand how this world works any more.

Monday, August 13, 2012


So who says the web killed innovation.  This is the third time I have posted a variation of this song on my blog. This is the original dude's (Gotye) youtube mashup.  I think it's brilliant. Watch it fullscreen.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


Roxy checking out Jeffrey, waiting for the attack.
Our Girl, cute, Isn't she?
Seeing as life here in Rehov HaNevel was not crazy enough, we added Roxy to the mix. During the short time since she joined our family, I have learned a few things about dogs. In no particular order:

  • Dogs are near as expensive as wives. They need a lot of accessories like dog cages, chew toys (this Kong Wubba thingy costs nearly as much as an iphone), shots, replacement Crocs and leashes to chew, special food, etc.
  • They chew everything. Crocs, leashes, irreplaceable pictures, onions, potatoes, chairs, tables (particularly like antiques), bones, sticks, hats, papers, paper bags, plastic bags, plastic cups, cords and cables.
  • Dogs prefer cat food and cats prefer dog food.
  • Border Collies think herding cats is a worthy profession. Cats on the other hand find this tiresome and irritating.
  • Many dog owners are kind, caring and friendly people, and their dogs tend to be kind, caring and friendly too. Some dog owners are miserable, sad people who won't even look at your puppy  and acknowledge your existence, their dogs are the same.
  • Roxy likes nothing better than to stomp in her water bowl and splash water all over the house. She thinks this is hilarious. I don't.
  • She has eaten through two leashes. She ate through the long leash so many times, that it's now only a few meters long (it started out at 15). Bwo went out and bought this industrial strength super lead. So far so good (we have had it less than 24 hours though).
  • She knows how to sit and lay down already although she is still as ADD as the rest of the people in this house, so getting her attention can be tough.
  • She loves the bone bwo brought her from the expensive French restaurant we went to the other night.  She dug a huge hole in the garden to bury it this morning. Then dug it up again a few minutes later and now is laying under the table gazing at it lovingly.
  • The cats aren't sure what to do with her yet. Syd just pretends Roxy does not exist and continues to nap on the bed next to the love of his life (bwo). Nancy keeps watch. She never lets Roxy out of her sight when she is in the house. She is either taking notes to figure out the best time for a surprise attack, or evaluating Roxy as a potential recruit to her band of Ninja assassins. We shall see in due course. Jeffrey enjoys nothing more than chasing Roxy around the garden. Roxy is still not sure if this is a game or if she should run for her life.
  • Azziza hates the dog, which caused me to wonder why we never got one sooner.
  • There is more written on dogs, dog rearing, and/or Border Collies than about babies on the internet. There is no end of dog advice out there. Everyone who has ever owned a dog (or saw one in a movie or on TV) knows just what you need to do to make your dog perfect. None of these people have any problem telling you. That could just be Israel though.
  • The Saki-Kaki's (little black dog poop bags) dispensers that are strategically situated around Raanana really work and there is much less dog poop around than in Paris.
Clearly, this is just the beginning. Still, we love her completely. She just has to look at you with those sad eyes and you can do nothing but melt.  I am sure she will provide many blogs in the future.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Too Hot

It's just too hot to blog. That's it.